“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” – Lucille Ball
Love. Is there anything more human than love? We crave it from the moment we are born to the moment we die. It is as important to us as the air we breathe. But our focus always seems to be on what other people do. How do THEY see us? Do THEY love us?
We miss a big piece of the puzzle when we don’t consider how WE see ourselves. If we don’t love ourselves, how can we expect to others to love us? True love starts from within. We must stop looking at ourselves through other people’s eyes and start looking at ourselves through our eyes.
Before you can have a healthy relationship with someone else, you need to have a healthy relationship with yourself. But how do you do that?
Step 1: Stop the Negative Self-Talk
Stop it. Right now. Don’t say one more bad thing about yourself. It’s insulting to the people who love you and to the One who made you. It’s proven science that the more bad things you think or say about yourself, the more bad things you will believe about yourself. It becomes a never-ending cycle that sinks you deeper and deeper into self-doubt and depression. You are an incredible creation. Can you imagine the incredible detail that goes into forming someone like you?
We all have our faults and our weaknesses that we must work through. Every. Single. One of us. You are NOT alone. It’s important that we talk to ourselves the way we would talk to others that we love. You wouldn’t say mean and cruel things to them so why say them to yourself?
Start doing some affirmations. They seem silly at first but they are so important for getting out of this type of mindset. My favorite one is “I am Enough”. Try to say them to yourself in a mirror several times a day.
Step 2: Start taking care of yourself.
You can’t love yourself to the best of your ability if you treat yourself like dirt. Cleanse yourself. Put good food into your body. Exercise. I can tell you from personal experience that my positive outlook on myself increased dramatically when I started exercising regularly. It’s good, not just for your physical health, but your mental health as well. Take care of yourself the way you would want your loved ones to take care of themselves.
This is the only body you will ever have and you’re worth so much more than some empty calories, drugs, excessive alcohol, etc. You deserve to live a fabulous life and should treat yourself as such.
Step 3: Date yourself first.
If you have gone down the rabbit hole of self-doubt and negativity, it’s best to work on yourself before looking for another’s approval. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you will have.
Take yourself out on a few dates. Learn about what you truly enjoy and get to know yourself outside of another’s influence. We are at our happiest when we are enjoying something we are passionate about.
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Washington Thurman
And when all else fails…
Step 4: Look at Yourself Through God’s Eyes
God created us in His image. He formed us in incredible detail that cannot be duplicated. His love for us extends far beyond anything we can imagine. Even in our darkest times, He is there, watching and waiting, ready to jump in when we can’t go one more step and we call out to Him in need.
Not only that but he sent His only son to die for us. For us! Imperfect us. Can you imagine a love as great and powerful as that? The depths of devotion to His creation? If you could only see you as God sees you, you couldn’t help but love yourself.
I challenge you to take some time this year to learn to love yourself. Discover what an amazing creature you are and what great talents you have to give. And always remember:
“God made you, Jesus died for you, and you have friends and family who love you.” – Melanie, The Fab Life